The Belgariad Review
by Demosthenes3
Summary: Here is a vaguely amusing review on Eddings spectacular literary masterpiece. If you are familar with my reviews, this one isn't as good, but there are much better on my website, which I suggest you all vist. The link is in this review


This is a somewhat entertaining review, but there are much better ones on my website (http://www.angelfire.com/nv2/reviews/) please go there if you liked this review in the slightest. If you don't like it at all, go there to complain cuz I'm not going to read this reviews.

Enjoy!

_The Belgariad by David Eddings_

Plot 

            When I was a young bright-eyed child my dear grandpappy gave me Eddings' _Polgara the Sorceress for Christmas. Although the book was over 600 pages long (small type) it wasn't daunting for an avid young reader as myself. I quickly read __Polgara, which, I have to confess, was a very stupid thing to do. You see, the problem was, __Polgara was written __after the first eleven books by Eddings and was a huge spoiler for the rest of the series. You also need to have read the rest of the series before reading __Polgara. Therefore, I had absolutely no clue whatsoever to what was going on, and missed out on many inside jokes, but I didn't let that stand in my way. The book had a cool map in the front and I tend to devour any book set in front of me. (Unless it is truly horrible, where I promptly spew the book back out halfway through and brush my teeth to rid myself of the vile taste it left.) Anyway, some time later, I happened across the beginning Eddings books, and thought it might be worth my time to read them. So now I will proceed to the actual book review and thank you for your patience in putting up with me so far._

This is an almost painfully typical fantasy story. It begins with a dull prologue talking about Gods and Sorcerers and Kings and all that fiddle-faddle. Although I was in a semi-conscious daze through all of this, I picked up the fact that there was a Sorceress, daughter of the legendary Belgarath the Sorcerer (who happens to tend to transform into a wolf), who has one lock of white hair in the rest of her dark hair. The word on the street is that she is taking care of the heir to the Riven throne, until the day he will return to his Kingdom and slay the evil god Torak.

Then the book begins. Let me try to summarize: The young kitchen scullion Garion is an orphan raised by his aunt (who has a white lock in her hair and is known as 'Aunt Pol'), until one day a mysterious old man (by the name of Mister Wolf) comes and takes him and his Aunt away, never to be seen again! Bwahahahahaha! Um, sorry, just kidding, Sometimes I get carried away. They _are seen again, because Garion is actually the heir to the Riven throne, whose family was supposedly all wiped out many years ago. (I hope that didn't ruin anything for you—it becomes obvious to all but the dullest idiot who Garion is halfway through the first sentence of the book, or maybe sooner.) Garion doesn't yet realize it, he's having a hard enough time accepting the 'gara' that he now must add to the end of his dear auntie's name. But then he's not a very bright young lad, and takes things rather slowly. In __Pawn of Prophecy, he, his aunt, and their tour guide 'Mister Wolf' go sight seeing through Sendaria and Chereck, joined by many zany, lovable characters. The rest of the books continue this way, with them eventually seeing every dreary corner of the world and are joined by many more characters. Although nobody tells Garion, the main character, anything (unless they're telling him what to do) I eventually gathered that their trying to recover the Orb of Aldur (which they __finally get at the end of the third book. Oh you knew they would, I didn't ruin anything) which will help them kill the evil God Torak. (Haha, I won't give the ending to that enterprise away.)_

I actually kind of like David Eddings, in a patronizing sort of way. Although the story is outrageously predictable, he cuts back on the traditional confusing words of most fantasy authors, and I like his writing style. The only thing that bothers me is the way all the adults act so annoyingly superior all the time. Even though they come from all different areas of the world, they all share the exact same rude, extremely sarcastic sense of humor. Get used to the cutting, witty one-liners introduced in the first book—you'll be hearing the same ones every other page throughout all the other books in the series.

Hmm, maybe I should have put that in characters. Oh well, on we go.

Another problem I have with Eddings is his gods. There are seven of the buggers, and only one of them is bad. Maybe it's just me, but six against one seems rather unsporting. And why does the one god have vast amounts of land and worshipers (especially considering he's EVIL and SACRIFICES his worshipers!!) while the other six are squished together in one place and are barely able to dredge up enough people to fight the bad guys? If it's to give the one, outnumbered god an advantage, I don't think that idea worked out too well, since all his worshipers are bumbling fools who trip over their own swords and die very easily. The only way they could be easier to kill is if they killed themselves, which wouldn't be killing them. But you'd think the good guys would get tired of constantly dropping the evil god's men like flies.

"Come on Fred, its time to kill us some Angaraks and save the world!"

"Oh not _again!"_

"What are you saying man?!?!"

"(Sighs heavily) I'm sick and tired of fighting Angaraks. It's so tedious! No matter how much they outnumber us we always kill them in time to be home for dinner. Where's the challenge? Where's the sense of achievement!?"

"Look I'm not writing this book, don't complain to me!"

"But don't they realize they don't have a chance? _They're on the wrong side! The side of Goodness and Justice __always triumphs in these kind of books! Why do they even fight us when they know they're going to loose?" _

Eddings in a good writer though, his books are long, but not as long as Jordan's and they all are fast reads, with enough mysteries to keep you interested to the end, even though you know roughly how, as an epic fantasy, it's going to end.

Characters

Eddings women are almost as bad as Jordan's, I'm sad to say. Eddings one redeeming quality is that _occasionally his women __may if you're __lucky show a shred of compassion and genuineness. True, the majority is superior and demanding and bossy and steely-eyed, but some can be different. And those that are shrews show some character sporadically._

One thing does annoy me very deeply, and that is how everyone is so clever and witty and droll and always has the last word all the time and is always right (well, except for Garion, our simple minded yet loveable hero). I was only on the first book and I already wanted to give several characters a good thrashing every time they opened their mouth.

Garion, as I said, is a simple country boy, who is almost always confused, easily misunderstands things, and is easily pushed around. But then, he does have to suffer with being a Pawn of Prophecy and have a shrew of an aunt who doesn't tell him anything. Oh yeah, he also suffers from insanity. I kid you not, the boy's a lunatic. He hears 'a dry voice in his mind' (which, of course, is as clever and witty and droll as everyone else is) but sane people just don't hear voices. (Sadly, his voice does little but mock Garion and tell him how childish he is.) For all his faults, Garion does love his Aunt Pol deeply, because, you see, she is the most beautiful and wonderful woman in the whole wide world. At least, that's what Eddings tells us, but I have yet to believe it for myself. Interaction between Garion and his Aunt is usually in the form of her telling him what to do or giving him long, hard, icy stares with one eyebrow raised. Or even once when she stitched up his head. Her favorite phrase seems to be a command, followed by "Garion… NOW!" Whenever Garion tries to step out on his own, this command is hurled at you like a football.

"To the scullery, Garion." She would say. "NOW!"

"Go pick carrots Garion, NOW!"

"Find her Garion, NOW!"

"Do as I say Garion, NOW!"

"Wash the dishes Garion, NOW!"

"Shut up Garion, NOW!"

And so on and so on.

Aunt 'Pol' is the main female character in _Pawn of Prophecy and the rest are mostly guys. There's Mister Wolf, a seedy old man who glorifies the bad habits of drinking, stealing, lying and wenching. Then there's Barak, a giant warrior who has no specific character but likes to get drunk a lot, and 'Silk' a clever, smug, arrogant spy. Garion spends a lot of time with Silk, so you get to know him very well. Last but not least is Durnik, a smith who has a thing for Mistress Pol. Durnik is very stout and honest and chaste and a bit of a prune, where as the more likable characters are immersed in sin. They are joined on their trip around the world by many others but I don't feel like getting into them all right now._

Rating

            A fairly good read, and for those who liked the first one, rejoice! There are eleven, that's right, _eleven more books dealing with poor, dear Garion._

            Score: 7 out of 10

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